What the Stars Say

Posted: April 23, 2018 in Life
Tags: , , , ,

1af7b72d619819a8673ee88e42a48652---zodiac-zodiac-signs.jpgI am not one to believe in Horoscopes and Zodiac signs, aside from knowing my sign is a cancer and that it is represented by a crab, my knowledge about it  is very little and I have never really I tried to inquire more either. I was going through the weekly newspaper at the firm where I intern skimming the paper for business law and other relevant business news of the week for my boss when I reached the final pages of the newspaper with the weekly horoscope. My curiosity got the best of me and I looked at what it had in store for cancers for the week. It read as follows:

“You may not be sure what you want these days, especially as so many of your most cherished goals seem to be falling by the wayside. It helps to reflect on whether you are in the right line of work at all. You are going to be put under even more pressure over the coming weeks and months. If you are not happy now, you certainly won’t be happy later. It will help you to ponder what you really want.”

At first I didn’t really think too much about it. I had just started an internship at one of the best law firms in the country, I had another job that I loved at a Contemporary Art Center and I was nearing the end of my studies (less than three months to go be exact). I wasn’t happy, but I was content…somehow. Other horoscopes my friends read me and the rare few I read myself over the years haven’t really been accurate and I thought this one would not be any different. So i didn’t pay it much heed.

question-marks.jpg

Fast forward two weeks and I couldn’t have been any more wrong. Shit hit the fan and the events that occurred since the week I was flipping through the newspaper left me questioning everything that I stand for as a person. They shook the belief system I had in so many things. Suddenly, all the dreams that I had and things I thought I wanted were standing under a giant question mark. After a long and quite frankly hard deliberation and sleepless nights, I decided that I didn’t want to pursue a career in law. And if I wasn’t already close to the finish line, I honestly would have quit law school.

I literally sat down and asked myself what I want and what are the things that I am already doing that make me happy. I was sad to find out that there are more things currently in my life that don’t make me happy than those that do. And the list of what I don’t want far outweighed of those that I wanted.  Like the horoscope said, I was not sure of what I wanted. But now I know what I don’t want – I guess through the process of elimination of the things that I don’t want to do and that don’t make me happy, I am hoping I will get one step closer to knowing what I want.

I have been pondering and reassessing my entire life for the past week. And I still am. i don’t know where the road will lead me and quite frankly I am afraid what i will find at the end of this road of introspection.

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